Our eldest daughter, Tegan, was married last weekend to William Zima. Guests and family filed into Holy Angels Catholic Church and the sun shone on a spring landscape of blossoms and buds exploding in color. Off in the distance dark rain clouds were tucked behind the streaks of lavender running across white clouds. I watched the faces of family and friends as they arrived at the church, and then I looked into the face of my daughter, radiating beauty, the face of her groom just before he walked into the church, and finally into the face of my husband as he prepared to give our brown-eyed daughter away in marriage. 

      The sacrament of the marriage was performed by our family friend, a Franciscan priest, Father Robert McCreary. It was during the homily of the wedding mass that he shared the intimacy, the wonder, and the beauty of the human face, "It is the human face which reveals something of the infinite dignity of the person. It is a revelation of the something of eternity; it is an epiphany of beauty and wonder; it is an ethical demand for reverence and respect. It is in the intimacy of love that we look into one another's face and it is the vow of marriage in which we promise to continue to look into the face of the other 'for better or for worse, in sickness and in health... and to look with love and mercy." *

     Father McCreary continued, explaining the philosophy of Emmanuel Levinas, as he spoke the sky grew dark with rain clouds sealing us in on all sides. "The Jewish philosopher Levinas developed not so much a philosophy defined by the love of wisdom, but the wisdom of love. His ethics are based upon the face-to-face encounter of persons, largely influenced by his own experience of the Holocast. Levinas himself survived, as did his daughter and wife who were hidden in a monastery,but his father, mother-in-law and brother were killed. Nazi soldiers were told not to look upon the faces of the Jews they killed, looking into the face of another would leave the soldiers aware and vulnerable to the being of another and perhaps unable to take a life. Levinas understood from the tragedy of the Jewish people at the hands of the Nazis that it is our experience of the encounter with the Other, this relation, that the epiphany of the face-to-face encounter with another isa privileged, yet essential encounter with a person's proximity and distance, one in which we sense something of the essence of a life. Decades later this was understood by a child during the Rwanda genocide who said, "If you knew me you would not kill me". He intuitively understood that if one looks upon the face of another you know something of the mystery of the person's being and might be unable to kill. 

    It is in this developmentally critical and earliest human encounter with the face of our mothers that we first look into her face and begin to learn proximity, distance, 'other' and see a reflection of love. The absence of this encounter is damaging, and one may spend a lifetime seeking its presence. From our beginnings we seek the intimacy of another face, recognizing the transcendence and power of the Other. As helpless infants our very survival is dependent on this look of love. 

     I could see the sky growing a dark violet through the floor length windows of the church. The wind shaking branches heavy with new leaves as the thunder marched closer. Lightening began to streak the sky too, as the priest paused for the crack of thunder, he then continued, describing the previous night at the church. "Bride and groom had faced one another on the altar in a rehearsal of their vows."Another pause as the microphone crackled and thunder boomed, the drama of the passing storm adding to the significance of his words and the ceremony. I began to fear our friar would be fried, but he calmly continued, "When Tegan had looked into Will's face she had been overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry. She quickly looked down, to hide her emotions. We often look away when our face reveals the depth of our emotions, not sure if we will be accepted. Yet the promises of the vows are to look upon the face of one another, a promise to keep looking until death do us part. To KEEP LOOKING is the promise that gets past moods, down days and misunderstandings, conflicts and to look again with mercy. There is no looking into the face of another who is your beloved without mercy. Even God can only look at us by mercy. The most effective cosmetic is mercy upon mercy. It is mercy which radiates the beauty of love from our being."* 

     A few moments later Tegan and Will faced one another, looking into one another's faces as they repeated their vows. And as I looked upon my daughter, I thought back to a time when I had held my tiny, beautiful, brown-eyed baby daughter cradled in my arms. She had finished nursing, almost drifting off to sleep and then her eyes had fluttered wide open, looking directly at me. Her cherub face,small rose bud mouth, and dark eyes had pierced my heart in that instant. Her small hand had reached towards my face, touching my face with an awareness of' other'. The memory of a moment of revelation, an epiphany of love that this new, little life brought crashing into my heart.

     The human face holds the mysteries of our identity, creativity, sexuality, observations, secrets, and communications; all hidden within the mysteries of life itself. In a life journey together we only begin to discover the secrets of another human face. It is astounding that in a world of over six billion other faces, each of our faces tell an original story, revealing personality, genetics, and a unique life journey. Each of our faces tell a unique secret that only our face can tell. It is our face which reveals the individuality of our feelings and thoughts,expressing and disguising who we are. Lovers can't get enough of the face of their beloved, wanting to study the 'other' face to learn the intimacies and mysteries of their beloved. 

     The storm culminated as did the wedding mass and the sky again hid the now distant dark clouds. In a river of grace family and friends poured out of the church into the sunshine, a sea of faces celebrating this new love.     

   Psalm 65 says, "The Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces; the reproach of his people he will remove from the whole earth." The psalm calls to mind Saint Gregory of Nyssa's word portrait of Christ, the artist, tenderly wiping away all the grim of sin that disfigures the human face and restoring God's image to its full beauty. *Christ, God who came with a human face to wipe away our sin, our sadness, our suffering and restoring God's image to its full beauty. Yes, that is what God does in His love and mercy and it is what we promise to do for one another in love and mercy. 

    May you gaze upon the face of one another  with love and mercy through the years. May you tenderly wipe away one another's tears and rejoice in your love for one another. 

Congratulations William and Tegan.

*Fr. Robert L. McCreary OFM Cap. 2010 Homily, May 22. Holy Angels.

* Emmanuel Levinas, wikipedia.

* Magnicat, May2010.